While walking the pups this morning, I had a sudden urge to listen to a podcast and I pulled out my iPhone (13), launched Apple Podcast, and navigated to one of my favorite podcasts: A slight change of plans. After not listening to any of her podcast episodes for nearly a year, I scrolled down to an episode titled “Rethinking Ambition”
After listening to the first few seconds, I momentarily considered skipping and swiping to another interesting, useful episode; I had the thought of “what could I possibly learn from an affluent, white, privileged woman talking about about ambition.” Damn, I was so wrong.
I set my judgemental thought aside and proceeded to listen to the remainder of the 30 minutes (or so) episode (I admit, I’m a bit embarrassed for my judgemental thought however, as learned in dialectical behavior therapy, a thought is just that: a thought) and here are a few favorite moments
Favorite moments
Sliding her resume back towards the interviewer when he (somewhat) condescendingly asked “What school is this?”
She was interviewing for an entry level position as an assistant for a media (I think magazine) company. Apparently, even for entry level positions, applicants tend to have graduated from pedigree schools (e.g. Harvard, Yale), and the college that Jennifer attended did not fall into that category. And I love her tenacity, her no shits taken response “Just because you haven’t heard of the school doesn’t mean it isn’t a good school.”
Turns out, her no non-sense reply lead to her actually landing the job since that attitude, apparently, is part of what it takes to put out fires as an assistant. She valued her 10+ years working as a waitress and applied what she learned in customer service; this makes me wonder what sort of stories my own mom, who worked at a diner during her teenage years, would be able to share with me as well.
Toeing the line
Jennifer said she was of “toeing the [company] line” and that’s an idiom I’m not particularly familiar with it. Though I’ve heard the phrase before times in the past, I wasn’t completely sure what it meant and as it turns out, it’s one way to say that you follow rules and orders and behave obediently.
New words I learned
- repudiate – to refuse to accept or reject
Quotes
“Ambition is a force and you can harness that force for good or you can harness that force in a way that takes you away from yourself and things you care about. We think success has to be big when it’s so often, the most satisfying success is quiet and small…I’ve designed my life in such a way that nothing is neglected: my relationships, I’m not neglected, work is not neglected. Everything is in balance.”
The above quote resonates with me because upon reflection, much of my ambitious endeavors in the past — for example, climbing up the corporate ladder at Amazon to become a senior engineer — contained a shadow, a slightly misunderstood (from my perspective) drive and ultimately, disconnected me not only from others around me, but disconnected me from myself and spiritual development.
“I’m going through the challenges of life. I am riding them like a wave, much more naturally because I’m not gripping, nothing requires that hold on me.”
The above quote reminds me of Oliver Burkeman and how he talks about (radically) accepting what lies ahead — that we are all finite human beings with a limited time on this earth — and with acceptance, we free ourselves from holding the brace position.
“Is to have a spaciousness, I think that is success. And when work is all consuming and doesn’t have boundaries, and when you are chasing something inside of work that you’re honestly never going to find, you lose all of this other beauty, which is what a successful life really is.”
Again, resonates with me in the context of work because for about 15 years of my life, I relentless searched for spiritual development within my work and I believe I was looking for the right thing, just in the wrong place.
Summary
Overall, solid episode 4.5/5.0 rating and would recommend listening to. Definitely left me in a pensive mood and had me reflect on how grateful I am for my current situation in life: working a 9-5 job with flexible hours that allows me to single parent my daughter and pursue creative opportunities (e.g. dance).
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