After I recently finished reading “The subtle art of not giving a f*ck”, I’ve made the choice that at the end of this year, after December 23 — final court hearing for child arrangements for my daughter — I will begin (online/app) dating actively.
Although, like many others of my generation, I much rather prefer meeting someone organically, in person, I’m faced with a few different hurdles that have lead me to explore a different path.
First, when it comes to meeting someone in person, I spend the majority of my time in the world of dance: dance training, dance sessions, dance events. And while a part of me lights up at idea of dating someone who also spends an inordinate amount in the dance scene, another part of me questions and recognizes whether doing so would be wise, the old adage of “don’t shit where you eat.” Moreover, the argument against dating someone from the scene has gained even further traction based on recent conversations from those who have direct experience.
In fact, someone share their perspective, stating how painful it would be (on a regular basis) not only running into an ex, but witnessing your ex date someone else in the scene.
Yikes.
The grief. The jealously.
Doesn’t sound like fun. At all.
So, now, I (once again) reconsider dating someone within the same stratosphere.
Now, returning back to the reasons why I want to date. As mentioned above, while reading “The subtle art of not giving a f*ck”, I became more aware of my own anxiety that has been lurking at the bay, some fear around “my own desirability.” When on begins dating, when one “puts themselves out there”, they are confronted with their own attraction; maybe you are not as attractive as you think you are.
Maybe (actually, most certainly), you will face rejection.
Sitting with this thought, I then ask myself, “so what?”
Anyways, what’s interesting is that becoming aware of this anxiety actually — unexpectedly — makes the whole prospect of dating less daunting.
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