Matt Chung's Site

Author: mattchung

  • Juste Debout: 1 month of training for 1 minute of dancing

    Juste Debout: 1 month of training for 1 minute of dancing

    Tomorrow, I compete as a dancer in the infamous international street style dance competition — Juste Debout — and for the past 1 month, my 2 vs 2 partner (Aubrey) and I been consistently training together. Every week her and carved out 1.5 hours, time spent in a studio practicing. And now, all this comes to a crescendo in about 24 hours, when we take the stage in London and dance for a grand total of 60 seconds.

    This past month has been quite a journey. High highs. Low lows.

    And along the way, I felt a bit stuck with my dance, hitting an invisible plateau. Despite moving my body more, I ironically felt more disconnected with my dance, I felt a bit more performative, a bit more robotic.

    Thankfully, I rode out this anxiety and frustration and ultimately, the universe had my back. During this period of disconnection with myself, I happened to have one off dance private with Jevan. And during our 60 minute lesson, he fundamentally shifted the way I approach my dance. Up until that point, my focus and intention was, in this order:

    1) Demonstrate I can dance the fundamental and foundational moves in this style we call house dance and

    2) Sprinkle some of my own personality into the movement.

    However, he had me invert the two, prioritizing dance first and that unlocked something in me and I’m now back to enjoying dance a bit more. My dance rounds — when looking back at the footage — have much more of me in it. There’s more clarity. More conviction.

    But I digress.

    Over the past month, I documented our training journey and below are four short clips of each week.

    Training Week 1

    Training Week 2

    Training week 3

    Training week 4

  • Forcing oneself & Procrastination – not a problem, but a signal

    My view and judgements on procrastination has shifted over the last year and I’m becoming more increasingly aware of my tendency to delay or postpone certain tasks until pressure builds up.

    My observation is that sometimes for certain projects or tasks I put it off until (more or less) the very last minute.

    One example might be: it’s Monday morning and I have some report I need to send out by end of week and I wait until Friday morning to even begin. Then all at once, I complete the task — mind you, the task itself requires about 15-20 minutes of concentrated effort — often feeling totally drained and exhausted afterwards and above all else, guilty. Whenever I find myself procrastinating, I still try to stay self-compassionate “who doesn’t sometimes procrastinate sometimes?”. And though I want to minimize the negative consequences of procrastination, procrastination in itself is not something I want to completely eliminate.

    Here’s why.

    I do not believe that procrastination is the problem. It’s not something that needs to be extinguished.

    In fact, I believe procrastination has utility and functional in certain circumstances. The act of procrastination allows me to avoid or delay some anticipatory, potential (often yet unaware of) negative emotions. In that way, procrastination serves as a protective mechanism.

    Yes — procrastination can become maladaptive. I get that.

    But what I’m leaning towards now is to increase my awareness around procrastination and treat the behavior as a signal. A clue. A reminder to check in myself, a moment to pause and breathe, and question: “What’s going on?”

    Am I procrastinating because of some perfectionism tendencies? Sometimes I fall into the trap that whatever is I do “needs” to be stellar so that I minimize perceived social rejection. Acceptance.

    Am I procrastinating because of the potential boredom accompanying the task? Is it because the task at hand doesn’t provide sufficient stimulus. Boredom is useful and I believe a necessary ingredient to creativity. And more often than not, certain tasks that I believe are boring end up providing stillness and calm.

    Am I procrastinating out of fear or anxiety? Sometimes I avoid a task because reality is that there is a negative consequence that follows the task. And at the same time, I realize now (as I’m typing this out) that if there’s going to be a consequence, how about facing it? I don’t always HAVE to front load the negative emotions and immediately pay the price. Because sometimes it is best to defer negative experiences, like if I am lacking sleep and tired and some undesirable behavior would follow as a result of experiencing negative emotions.

    In sum, procrastination and I are becoming friends and ultimately I want to increase my awareness of when I’m delaying or deferring something and then, try to leverage one of the skills or toolboxes I’ve either come up on my own or ones that I’ve picked up from others (like from The Waves of Focus online course)

  • Waking up from a different kind of nightmare

    It’s 4:57 am right now.

    Already, I hear a few birds chirping from outside, despite no sun in sight, outside still pitch black.

    I am typing this blog post while sitting in my dimly lit kitchen. In the bedroom, my daughter is still fast asleep and hope she continues to sleep for another hour (i.e. until 6:00am) or better yet, another 2 hours.

    Though I had a number of different dreams throughout last night — partaking in a college brawl, witnessing a school burn down due to a fire, baby elephants wearing shower caps and blowing bubbles — the one that shook me awake was my daughter moving to Costa Rica with her mom. At the tail end of the dream, I was moving to Colorado with my new wife (a friend of mine from junior high — so random – someone who I haven’t thought of for multiple decades) and I asked her as we were driving and moving from Seattle (she was also talking about Google Calendar, again so random). Within my dream, I said to her:

    “How and Elliott I see each other? What — she’s going to fly back and forth on Sundays on the weekend.” Even in a dream state, I felt that Elliott flying between the two of us was too harsh on her little body. In my dream, I started crying at the idea of being apart from Elliott.

    Then I woke up.

    And here I am.

    Emotional. Sad. Fascinating how I can feel these emotions so strong so early in the morning, all from a dream: all from a nightmare.

    I love that little girl and I’m so glad I am here, in London, raising her.

    I don’t know what prompted this sort of nightmare but it was a reminder that I am in the right place, right country, doing the right thing: for her, for me.

  • Friday night farmer

    The house dance farmer move is one that eludes me. I’m about 1.5 years into my house dance journey and this move in particular is one that I both struggle to achieve both the look and the feeling. Because of this, the farmer rarely makes an appearance in my freestyle rounds and when it does, and I replay the footage, I dislike how the move looks on me.

    That being said, my farmer has progressively improved and I don’t feel like I’m too far from nailing it. Since the beginning of my journey, here’s some of the ways I’ve tried to tackle the farmer:

    • House dance classes in Seattle – Orb often demonstrates this move as part of the foundational warm up
    • Feedback from Kerry (Karina) House – I took 1:1 private lessons with her for about 1 year and during that period, during our remote privates we went over the farmer and sometimes I would send her videos (over Telegram) for feedback
    • House dance classes in London – In both Ani’s and Jevan’s class, they often will include the farmer in either the combo or choreography. They do go over some techniques and yet I still struggle
    • Watched (god knows how many) YouTube tutorials
    • Analyzed video clips of a handful of people performing farmer – I try and breakdown and dissect and analyze the body mechanics

    But last night (Friday night), I was chatting with a friend (Kristina) who sent some of her own personal written notes. These notes combined with a YouTube tutorial (below) makes me feel like I am on the right track

    Farmer Progression

    YouTube Tutorial on Farmer

    I believe the language he’s speaking is Russian. Because I cannot understand, I turned on auto-captions and was able to follow along. What I learned from the above video is this:

    • When lifting leg, shoot pelvis back – this is something I noticed when analyzing videos but in other tutorial videos I’ve watched so far, nobody has explained this part of the movement
    • When lowering the leg, tap with the toes – I’ve been missing this component and going to experiment with incorporating this into my farmer
    • After tapping with the toes, flatten foot and (lightly) hop – related to previous point but I would hop on one foot but was missing the intermediate step of the toe tap

  • Nose piercing bump – How I’m getting rid of it (in progress)

    I started developing a little red bump on my nose after I swapped out the stud for a hoop. On the day of the piercing swap, the piercer said, “If you end up developing a little bump — which is normal and can happen — then use bio oil.” Immediately after he swapped out the piercing, there was no bump. A little red, a little blood, a little irritated: but no bump. However, I wanted to take care of future me and was a bit anxious that a bump would develop — surprise surprise, a bump formed a couple days later — so I had proactively picked up some bio oil from local boots store in London.

    Rule #1: DO NOT F*CK with the piercing

    Although I resisted any and all urges to fiddle with the nose ring, I made the fatal mistake of using a cotton swab about 2-3 days into it. Around that time, the bump had formed a little blister and there was some residue, some dead skin, lingering on the bump. As gently as possible, I gently rubbed the dead skin off. Unfortunately, the next day, the red bump grew angry, increasing in size that was much more visible and much more embarrassing. Now, it is possible that the bump size would’ve progressed on its own but moving forwards, I had stopped using a cotton swab. Once was enough.

    My Cleaning Protocol

    1. In the morning, shower and allow hot rinse over entire face
    2. In the morning after shower, Spray saline solution directly on nose and hold cotton pad for about 5 deep breathes
    3. In the morning after saline solution, put (2) drops of bio oil on nose and hold cotton pad for about 5 deep breathes

    And just before bed, I repeated steps 2-3 in the evening again.

    Healing Journey

    Below are a couple photos I snapped over the couple weeks. At the time of this writing, 19 days have elapsed since I swapped out the nose stud for the hoop. Oh, for some context, I had the nose stud in for 3 months and 3 weeks before switching it out.

    I’ll post another update on here in about 1-2 weeks once (hopefully) the healing process has completed.

  • A cup of tea, a splash of milk, a flood of love

    A cup of tea, a splash of milk, a flood of love

    I’m feeling lots of love right now, all from flicking through my diary and unexpectedly stumbling on some stick figure drawings that my 5 year old daughter drew, along with some sentence fragments she wrote.

    For a moment, the love was overwhelming and I was on the verge of crying.

    I just fucking love my baby so much.

    Here at Tea House Theater, I’m sipping my cup of tea and currently locked, focusing on tidying up my notes since frustration was building up combined with feelings of overwhelm from some creative projects I haven’t yet realized. Often, accompanying these emotions are what feels like a dizzy amount of thoughts racing around in my head; being in this state typically brings on feelings of paralysis. Recognizing the state I am in, I reach into my backpack and pull out my journal so that I can empty out my thoughts using what the “Anchor Technique”.

    Anyways, I was flipping through pages one by one in my journal, trying to find today’s diary entry, when I stumbled on some of Elliott’s drawings. They quickly brought me to the present moment — not worrying about the past, not anxious about the future — and served as a reminder of WHY I am in London, a reminder of ONE of the (primary) reasons I breathe: to be here, for her.

    Daddy loves you Elliott.

  • House Dance Training Log – January 04, 2025

    House Dance Training Log – January 04, 2025

    First training of 2025. In a separate post, I’ll go over one of my 2025 goals but in short: participate in the prelims of summer dance forever 2026! That is, 1.5 years from now, I’d like to stand up on that beautiful stage and be prepared both mentally, physically, and emotionally.

    Summary

    • Light warm up – 90 seconds of “jump roping”, 15 seconds single leg hops on each
    • 2 rounds of 6 exercises, each exercise 30 seconds, with 10 second rest in between
    • Rhytmic pattern training (30 seconds per round) of 6 exercises, 2 rounds (one pas de bourree and one cross step)
    • After training for dance, stretched hamstrings, hip flexors, and quadriceps (and some calve raises and eccentric heel drops)

    Motivational quote on practice

    Stumbled on this quote that a fellow HN (hacker news) user commented:

    As to progress — we don’t know how much progress we made, actually, but if you practice it you will realize — some day you will realize that our progress is not — it is not possible to make rapid, extraordinary progress. Even though you try very hard, you cannot actually make progress. The progress you make is always little by little. It is like — to go through fog. You don’t know when you get wet, but if you just walk through fog you will be wet, little by little, even though you don’t know — it is not like a shower.

    When you go out when it is showering you will feel, ‘Oh, that’s terrible!”. It is not so bad but when you get wet by fog it is very difficult to dry yourself. This is how we make progress. So actually there is not need to worry about your progress. Just to do it is the way. It is, maybe, like to study language. Just repeating, you will master it. You cannot do it all of a sudden. This is how we practice, especially Soto way, is to do it little by little. To make progress little by little. Or we do not even mind, we do not expect to make progress, just to do it is our way. The point is to do it with sincerity in each moment. That is the point. There should not be Nirvana besides our practice.

    Video Log

    Reflection

    • First time dancing after taking 2 weeks off to allow rest and recovery from plantar fasciitis (not fully healed)
    • (Right) foot felt no pain in heel throughout exercise but afterwards, felt a bit sore so I walked on my indoor garden gravel and then stretched afterwards
    • Felt a bit anxious during physical warm up, hesitating as to avoid reinjuring myself
    • Proud that I did not go 150% percent (my default mode) and limited the entire practice to just under 35 minutes
    • Avoided using ankle weights since that additional load likely contributes to the plantar fasciitis and in fact, during the exercise where I jumped side to side, I felt instability in the ankle and knee

    What went well

    • Was able to recall the rhytmic exercise that Mavinga provided
    • Mostly on beat
    • Just showing up and putting in the quiet work

    Areas of improvement

    Below section will serve as input for next training (TBD)

    • Practice “around the world” move – when the prompt from random generator (software I wrote to help train transitions) spat out “around the world”, I ended up performing the setup move. In a nutshell, forgot how to execute the move
    • Relax arms during dodger (and more generally) – was only bending right arm. After checking some videos online to compare, I like the aesthetic of bringing both arms up into 90 degrees (relaxing the wrists) during the first step, then lowering both arms in sync during the last step of the move
    • Hold the 3rd rhythm a bit longer during cross step rhythmic practice – doing so distinguishes one rhythmic pattern to the next. Being compassionate with self; in the past, I would’ve berated myself for having to “relearn” this since I had cleaned it up previously. But that’s neither here nor there. Next session
    • More tension / energy all around – make the moves look more crisp and clear. For example, during the “Bart Simpson”, contract the hamstring and glutes for more aesthetically pleasing movement
    • Increase knee bend with Drunk Walk
    • Drunk walk backwards
    • Freestyle – I was gased and wanted to not push too hard so didn’t freestyle. Something I may be able to do in between next training session

  • On recovering from plantar fasciitis

    Similar to software debugging, sometimes the best thing you can do is create distance between yourself and the problem you’re troubleshooting. Because more often than not, when we’re in the thick of it, sometimes we can become fixated — fine, a bit obsessed — and prevent ourselves from gaining additional insights, our wheels spinning in place, us unable to make forward progress.

    In those moments, I remind myself to take a break and quite literally step away from the computer.

    As for my right foot pain, I recently being throwing different things at the wall, trying out a variety of exercises and stretches, desperately hoping the pain will disappear soon. However, while reading a ballet blog on resolving plantar fasciitis, it suddenly dawned on me that my pain coincides (6 weeks ago) with the following changes:

    • Wearing 1.6 kg (3.5 lbs) ankle weights on each foot while training
    • Increasing frequency of training – previously only taking (2) two 1.5 hour dance classes a week and then on top of that, had added about (3) 1.5 hour training sessions on adjacent days
    • Introduced new exercises that likely my body was unprepared for – jump roping on one foot, hopping from one leg to another leg (again, while wearing ankle weights)

    It was either in the referenced article or another video that talked about how just a little bit of weight gain can increase odds of plantar fasciitis. While the article was implying body weight gain, I had increased my weight through the use of ankle weights. While wearing them, I often feel my ankles are a bit wobbly, a bit unstable, especially while performing certain movements. So probably poor biomechanics and other foot muscles compensating.

    In short, too much volume, poor technique due to increase (ankle) weight(s), and not enough rest.

    Next Steps?

    • Rest (I find this the hardest of all)
    • Barefoot walking on gravel and pebbles
    • Increasing foot strength by doing calve raises and standing on toes
    • Increasing foot strength by doing eccentric heel drops

    Ultimately, I want to be able to increase my dance training volume since I am seeing huge gains but without an uptick in injuries.

  • Dance Practice Log – December 09, 2024

    When: Monday, December 09, 2024 6:30pm until 8:00pm
    Where: Morden home living room

    Summary

    Yesterday I trained for about 1.5 hours. Up until last couple training sessions, I felt so much resistance, so much procrastination. And every time I get myself to to practice — not force — I feel emotionally better, lifted with higher spirits, and I can see the work paying off. I feel it. I see it.

    What did I do

    • Conditioning
      • Jump roping (3 minutes)
      • 2 rounds of single leg squats, lunge jumps (my enemy), squats, holding dance positions
    • 1 round of 9 exercises with ankle weights
      • Compass on time
      • Compass double time
      • Compass with a swing
      • Jump from side to side
      • Rapid fire forward and backwards
      • Side to side arm stretches (used to make me nauseous but not anymore)
    • 6 rounds of pas de bourrée rhythm training with ankle weights
      • On time, double time, “standard”, 1/16th
    • 6 rounds of cross step rhythm training without ankle weights
      • On time, double time, “standard”, 1/16th
    • Musicality exercise – Used Garage band (no. 16)
    • Freestyle round – started cramping so I stopped after about 3 minute round

    What was the main focus?

    • Musicality and transitions
    • Updated dance training program – added moves such as roger rabbit, jack in the box, side walk, drunk walk, compass, swirl, heel toe, dodger
    • Drilling rhythmic pattern (Mavinga)
    • Main intention continues to be holding the position just a fraction of a second longer, particularly on rhythm 3 before transitioning to 1/16th notes

    Wins

    • Throughout freestyle round, I incorporated (recency bias) the kick, bend, into roger rabbit transition (from Miriam)
    • Setup with the repetition – this is something that I came up for myself; well, I arrived at this move on my own and do not doubt that others in the world have come up with the same move
    • Threw in the shuffle transition I picked up from Miriam from class last Saturday – kick out right, step left leg back behind right, finish the shuffle kick out. I find this transition really beautiful and I’m adding my own flavor, my own sauce to it

    Areas of Improvements

    • Right arm stiff during swirl (and more generally, in all movements)
    • Adding textures
    • Incorporating pauses and quarter time with intention
    • I’m thinking of doing something like Bas Ruten, creating .mp3 files of me just telling myself the exercises with music baked into it

    Full training and practice video

  • Wow, you have good memory

    To me, I like to think I’m somewhat self-aware (who doesn’t think that about themselves but according to one study, only 10-15% are actually self-aware). But from my own perspective, it does not seem abnormal — to me — to remember little details of conversations. That being said, about at least 3 times in the past week, people have commented on my ability to remember certain conversations.

    But what motivates me to remember? It it acceptance, the desire for social approval? What is it, exactly?

    Honestly, I don’t think my ability to remember conversations is innate and rather a skill that I have developed over the years. I recall in my early 20s, reading Dale Carnegie’s “How to win friends and influence people” and though the details are now fuzzy, I recall that book having a profound impact on me and the way I interact with others, a mindful approach to developing relationships. Dale Carnegie emphasized the importance of listening with one’s full attention. As such, when I am engaged in a conversation with others, I really make an effort: I make eye contact, I validate (when appropriate), and ask questions (driven from my high need for curiosity).

    Last night, I was at a dance event in Shoreditch and was having a 1:1 conversation with Francesa; I had asked her about her upcoming trip to New York to celebrate her 30th birthday. She was a bit surprised and said something along the lines of, “wow — you have good memory”. Now, as mentioned earlier, I get that type of comment pretty often. In this specific instance, here’s why I think I remember her sharing that with me:

    1. the first time I had met her and
    2. as a house dancer, New York is considered the mecca of the dance style and
    3. Turning 30 is a big milestone that’s worthy of celebrating