Below is a YouTube tutorial I made for some house dance friends, showing them an exercise on how to not only dance on the high hat, but to transition between the kick, the high hat, and back to the kick.
I learned the core exercise from Walid, who taught a group of us the exercise during a workshop that took place in London. Though heavily inspired by his teaching, I made some changes that I think provides more clarity:
Counting on the high hat – in the third set of pas de bourée, we’re dancing on the high hat. The way Walid taught us to count was “and one and, and two and, and three and” which is totally valid however, I’m counting it as follows “and one and, and three and, and five and, and seven and”, giving us (or me) a clear understanding of where I am at relative to the eight count
Annotating with a piece of paper – during the workshop, there were no visualizations. So I added my own annotation (as you can see in the video)
Adding my own interpretation of ending on on the 7 beat – Though we can immediately transition to the high hat from any down beat, I believe in the second round, the reason we end on the 7 beat and transition to the high on the “and” of the 8 downbeat is because 1.5 counts of “time” gives us ample time to prepare ourselves physically and mentally to transition
Exercise Description
Short version:
Dance 8 counts of pas de bouree, starting on the “1” downbeat
Skip the “1” of the second 8 count, and dance 6 counts of pas de bouree, starting on the “2” downbeat
Start on the “and” of the 8 beat (from the last round of pas de bouree)
Like many others, I watch and study lots of house dance videos. I’m still very much a beginner when it comes to the craft — at the time of this writing, about 14 months into the journey — however I’m noticing an increased ability within myself to tease out what highly skilled dancers are trying to convey in their rounds. Because I recently started training privately with Mavinga, I’m leveraging the opportunity by attempting to analyzing her videos and then coming up with questions that I can ask her since it’s rare and a wonderful opportunity to sit with the person and have them articulate what they were doing in a particular round. In particular, I like the below video (hopefully YouTube skips to the specific time frame I embedded in the URL) where Mavinga catches a particular phrase in the music and then (I think) signals to the battle opponent that he missed an opportunity to play with musicality or perhaps she’s trying to convey something along the lines of “Did you hear that? Maybe not.” It’s playful.
Creating YouTube Playlist on my channel serves multiple purposes. First, doing so in a way for me to practice my organization skills. Second, a playlist enables me to chronologically view my dance journey. Third, playlists help viewers (subscribers and non-subscribers) paint a better picture of what dance classes in studios look and feel like.
Now, I do have a backlog of edited house dance recap videos that live on my iPhone and Instagram (stories), not yet uploaded to YouTube. How many? If I had to guess, probably in the range of 50 videos or so. Will I upload all of them? Although I’d like to, probably not. Perhaps a select few.
What other playlists will I want to create? Off the cuff, here are a few ideas
Stretching and flexibility journey – I started stretching on May 16, 2024 (162 days ago) and similar to my dance, I’ve been documenting my flexibility journey
Daughter and dad recap videos – Whenever I watch videos of Elliott and me, I feel joy and love. It’s yet another way to remind myself that I am living a life that’s both worth living and living a live that’s aligned with my long term values
Throughout my life, I’ve been described by others as a “go-getter”, someone who “gets things done”. While I appreciate both the positive feedback and while I am grateful in my ability to get shit done, one other area I’d like to devote more time and attention to is the act of reviewing — reflecting. Sometimes I feel like life is rapidly passing by, and I have thoughts that I’m in a perpetual state of doing, constantly on the move (according to my birth chart, difficulties of sitting still can be attributed to my Gemini sprinkled everywhere).
But to repeat: I am appreciative of my capabilities that have gifted to me. Yet, sometimes I wonder if some of the challenges in life (e.g. disorganization) that I face in life can be better understood (and subsequently solved) simply by taking a step back, changing my perspective, and asking myself questions, turning inwards, instead of turning outwards.
Lately, the motivation to spend more time reflecting can be partially attributed to me watching a (recorded) video (available only to Waves of Focus members) with David Sparks, a “productivity” expert. In that video, he talks about the importance of reflecting in terms of building a sustainable productivity system
“I’m getting emails from people saying ‘I just can’t figure out why it’s not working’ … The difference — 99% of the time — is people who DO reviews versus people who DON’T make time for them.”
Dance Private Thoughts and Reflections
Because I live about 60-90 minutes away from the dance studio where the lesson was scheduled to take place, I had asked Mavinga if we could arrange for a 90 minute lesson instead of the typical 60 minutes, making the commute more worth it (to me). In retrospect, proactively scheduling a longer lesson was the right call especially so since the warm up (described below) ran for about 30-40 minutes. Had we not preemptively increased the 1:1 time, we would’ve only been left with less than 20 minutes on the actual dance portion.
“Warm up” and training to point of exhaustion
Brutal because high intensity training is not something I’ve been focusing on recently
Historically, cardio and high intensity was my forte, my strength. However, apart from dance classes and at home technique practice, my attention (in terms of physical training) has been devoted to stretching and flexibility
In retrospect, the high intensity training has value for several reasons, among which is that I’d like to be able to sustain and train longer when practicing on my own. Often, limitation is on physical endurance and as such, cuts my practices short
Biggest Takeaway
Someone there to motivate and push made a difference – during the “warm up” (love how she calls it this, because it really is more of like a high intensity interval training workout), there was more than one moment where I was gasping for air and ready to throw in the towel but she shouted “aller aller aller” (go go go) and that helped concentrate my mind
The HIIT workout (above) was no doubt physical training, but also mental – in addition to her words of encouragement, she would say “come on, it’s in the mind. Let’s go let’s go”
Hip hop vs House bounce – she was able to both demonstrate and point out the differences in the look and feel of a hip hop vs house bounce. Because I have practically zero experience with hip hop dance, I found this new groove challenging
Compass exercise – we performed the bounce in multiple directions, performing the bounce in a variety ways; center of gravity still, center of gravity forward.
In person vs remote training differs
The energy in the room can be felt
More motivating – difference between someone in the room saying “let’s go let’s go”
Ability to see small details – goes both ways, while witnessing her in person and her ability to see what I was doing
“Be more precise” and small passing comments can have the most impact and lasting impact – during the compass exercise (above), after one of my rounds, she said “Be more precise” with the direction I was facing. She wants to be able to see the difference and the INTENTION.
After the training
When I got home, I continued practicing the bounce in front of the mirror
I experimented with where I distributed weight
The step bounce feels (and looks) different when transferring weight to ball of foot vs distributing to entire foot
I feel the burn more in my thighs (a good thing I think) when transferring weight to the ball of foot, versus being flat foot
I can leverage my athleticism when deliberately transferring on ball of foot
That is, I can move with more speed
In retrospect, may have over-indexed with dancing with more “weight” this past year and recognize there are moments (like the bounce) where I might want to transfer weight to ball of foot
Bend BOTH legs during the step bounce, especially the back leg
Previously was only bending the front leg but when I closely watched Samantha Mavinga, I noticed that the heel of back foot lifted ever so slightly, indicating to me that she was engaging the back leg, though she did not explicitly or verbally state this
I am returning to the practice of writing up reviews and reflections. Sometimes daily. Sometimes weekly. The review itself is not the goal. In fact, the act of reflecting (for me) provides the most value. It’s a practice.
Overview
Noticed dissatisfaction with my own “bounce” and thus modified technique and redistribute weight
Adjusted upper body groove for the “drunk walk”
Incorporated a knee bend in base leg during the heel toe movement
Bounce technique modification
Seems like such a simple move: the bounce. However, because I tend to watch videos of dancers — ranging from beginners to experts — I’m starting to notice the aesthetic differences between bounces. Though I cannot recall what specific video prompted this thought, I started noticing a subtle (perhaps obvious to others) difference; that being said, I believe this was prompted by watching back Monday’s video of me doing the (older version) of my bounce; I dislike the look of bounces in which the during the downwards direction of the bounce, the knee extends beyond the toes. In doing so, the shin creates an angle that (to my eye) is not beautiful.
Also, though I’ve been told to “lean forward” during this movement, I actually think that’s not entirely accurate. Though leaning forward is a byproduct, it’s not the goal. For me, to achieve the look, it’s more of ensuring that you are going through the motions of a “squat”. It’s more of driving your hips and butt back and down, respectively.
Comparing old and new bounce, side by side
Drunk walk groove adjustment
This move is one that I haven’t been able to get quite yet. And though I’ve tried with Karina / Kerry house dance, I was able to very quickly pick up the move simply by watching him in person. Which makes me wonder: what are some other trade offs that are being made by taking online 1:1 privates? At the same time, I recognize that sometimes it takes multiple repetitions, multiple exposures, before the move suddenly clicks in place.
In any case, my observation is as follows: lean upper body torso in the opposite direction of the leg stepping out in front. That is, if right leg stepped out in front, then lean torso to the left. Similarly, if the leg leg stepped out in front, then lean torso to the right.
What classes did I take?
Monday – Kashmir’s 4 hour hip hop and house training in East London
Tuesday – Ani’s choreography house class at the Pineapple
Thursday – Jevan’s house dance class at Base Dance Studios
Tuesday Class Reflection
On Tuesday, I had the thought to NOT go to class but I am glad I did. I almost never regret attending a dance class
Thursday Class Reflection
I keep saying this over but that class was one of my favorite classes, for multiple reasons.
After my class partner provided me her feedback, I felt an instant emotional shift in my body, suddenly able to TRUST my body, simply by redirecting my focus from nailing the moves to stretching out each move.
Observed during the heel toe step, Jevan (the instructor) would maintain a slight bend in the knee of the base leg (i.e. leg not extending). When I witnessed during the warm up routine, I tried to make that adjustment in my own movement and was pleasantly surprised. First, the pain my left hip reduced. Second, the move appeared more aesthetically pleasing; I tend to not throw heel toe in my freestyle rounds because I’m not satisfied with how it feels or looks but yesterday a tiny victory. Now, it’ll take repetition and training for my body to acclimate to the changes I am introducing. Fascinating that while watching someone’s movement and detecting subtle differences in biomechanics.
I started fumbling during the second half of class when we were being witnessed by our freestyle partner, each of us taking turns to “perform” the combo in front of one another
Jevan invited each freestyle partner to provide one piece of positive feedback and one criticism for growth. Jevan believes that feedback is not utilized enough in classroom settings. Overall, I agree.
My partner stated that I had the moves down and they look good however I could stretch out the movement and listen to the music. More or less, the same advice I continue to hear but her being able to see it and succinctly put it into (what felt like compassion) words despite only just meeting me and seeing me dance for the first time, had a profound effect on me for the remainder of class and I think for the rest of my dance career. Oh also, she mentioned that she liked how even when I forgot the combo, I didn’t freeze (I’ve done this many many many times before when I first moved to London) and instead continued to move my body and picked it back up. Ironically, she had also forgotten the routine during her third round and then she (my perception) confidently executed filler moves. Whether she panicked internally or not, I’ll never know but she portrayed confidence during her stumble
The combo itself was beautiful, combination of the skate, heel toe, pas de bourree, farmer run
I took it SO easy on myself (compared to the past) when I was unable to pick up the final movement that Jevan had showed us. I didn’t stress about it; didn’t have thoughts that “I should know how to do this”. I recognized in the moment that trying to nail that last move would’ve put me in a state of overwhelm.
Noticed I was holding tension in my ankle while performing the farmer run. When I relaxed the ankle and relaxed the foot, the move looked more aesthetically pleasing
My Seattle based dance friend named Mateus flew in Thursday evening and stayed at my flat (goodness I’m so British now) with me until Sunday morning, when he flew back and returned to the states. These past days, I felt a lot of joy and love and gratefulness. Now, I just rode the bus with him to Wimbledon, dropping him off at the station and I’m now cozily posted up in the Starbucks located across the the street, sipping on my earl grey tea + soy milk + honey and writing this little blog post.
Here’s the main squeeze
Less anxiousness compared to previous instances when guests stayed with me in the past – Historically, I’d have a lot of worry thoughts leading up any guest staying with me: “Gosh, I need to clean up around here; I’m so messy” ; “Is there enough space in the house?”; “Are we going to get along; what will they think if XYZ”; “What if we both need to take a shit at the same time”. Nowadays, thanks to all the dialectical behavioral therapy training I received, along with me current work on eliminating (or reducing) fear of opinion of others (FOPO), I’m finding that I’m spending less time preoccupying myself with worry thoughts and spending less time anticipating what others may (or may not) think of me
Increased confidence that getting a divorce was the right decision – I’ve said this and I’ll say it again: the divorce has been the most painful and yet most awakening, profound, spiritual experience of my life, giving me a glimpse into not only the true nature of people — I admit that the criticisms of me have been true: I often give people too much the benefit of the doubt. With certain events unfolding over the weekend, I feel it even more in bones that I’m on the “right” path, my own path, practicing what my daughter says to me: “just being me.”
Experienced feelings of pride after two instances of sober dancing – I used to get crippling anxiety out of fear of embarrassing myself when dancing in front of others. Actually, digging into this deep, it was probably also (unjustified) shame about who I was. Fast forward to present day, I’m finding my ability to dance in social contexts without over-indexing on “what are people thinking of me”. This in itself is a victory and in Kit Laughlin’s words: “no victory too small to celebrate”
Highlights of the trip
Dance on Thursday Night: Class ➡️ Caravan
Despite dancing in a studio and participating in battles and jams, getting pulled into a cypher consisting of people (dancers and whatnot) in a new space absolutely terrified me and I enjoyed it because there were moments where I drew in multiple deep breaths to relax myself during the performance
Credit: @lishaatretton
Every time a (dance community member) friend from Seattle visits me in London, I invite them to join me at dance classes.
So far, I’ve the following individuals have visited me:
Kennedy – Stayed in my flat with me for about a week
Will – Went to two dance classes with me on Tuesday and Thursday and grabbed dinner and tea at Vauxhall’s Tea House Theatre
Pat (and Chandler) – Attended Jevan’s class with me on Thursday and then three of us ate dinner at Vauxhall market place
Mateus
That’s a total of 5 people in 5 months!
Each and every time I’m visited, my energy and spirits are lifted.
Vauxhall, dance class, being offered a churro and Caravan
And this past Thursday with Mateus: no exception. The two of us were able to survive one of the most physically demanding classes on Thursday night – the instructor Kashmire who was subbing for the instructor, Jevan — and following the evening, him and I (along with a new London dance friend named Aubrey) grabbed some dinner at Vauxhall marketplace.
The Vauxhall marketplace was surprisingly packed. I had walked up and down the market place several times searching for an empty table. In the end, I found a rather long table that was partially occupied with two groups, one group consisting of a young man (probably about 20 years old) eating in the corner by himself. I had noticed he was eating churros and commented that “I love churros! How is it? I’m probably going to go grab one myself.” His face lit up, said it was tasty, and then offered me some of his churro. Initially, I said that was so kind and thank you but I’ll purchase my own. However, in the moment, I had interpreted his offering as a gesture, a bid for connection. So I remained curious and followed up, “I really appreciate your offer and not sure if you’re just being polite. You sure I can have a piece of churro?” He quickly nodded. I thank the DBT skills that I’ve developed over the years to remain mindful, to check in with my emotions, and my (increased) willingness to sit with uncertainty and discomfort. After scarfing down one of his churros, that opened up the channels of communication between the four of us — me, my two friends, and this total stranger — and ultimately had a lovely conversation before he took off to head back towards South London.
Favorite moments at Caravan
Caravan is a monthly event curated by artists. The event itself attracts predominately dancers, musicians, singers — artists. I enjoyed going this particular evening especially since I attended along side Mateus and Aubrey.
In addition, all three of us — at different times — got pulled into the center of the dance floor, each of us dancing and freestyling. I loved witnessing both of them dance and can say that I was in both awe and proud of Aubrey because that was the first time (in about 5 months since I’ve known her) see her break a smile on her face while dancing. Whether or not she was feeling it or not, she conveyed a sense of joy during her performance. I felt it.
As for me, I was both anxious when I got called and drew in a couple deep breathes and “let go”, turning off the left side of my brain. I even was able to express musicality and hit the drums that were kicking in. Even though I dance in a studio, battle, the environment was different. Strangers. New Space. The environment completely changes the vibe and ultimately, it felt unfamiliar. I’m not the first to admit that the environment itself can alter the way one moves. In fact, I stumbled on an article describing catching the ghost and that academic paper talks about how other (very experience house dancer experts) share similar sentiments, that the space and crowd (i.e. “civilians”) play a role in one’s dance.
Clubbing at Fabric on Friday Night
(Re) Discovering I fail to whisper quietly
Apparently, I cannot whisper (quietly) and increasing self-awareness of my loud whispering voice. On Friday evening, Mateus and I were sitting next to one another on a bench located outside the night club (Fabric), each of us eating a sandwich. Then a group of beautiful women walked past by us and I wanted to signal Mateus to look and (in my head) thought that I was being subtle. However, Mateus burst out in laughter letting me know that my “yo yo yo” was the antithesis of being subtle and that I practically shouted those words out and if I was trying to be inconspicuous, I had failed.
There’s a discrepancy between what I sound like versus what people hear and this difference is a good example of self-awareness (or lack thereof).
Stopping by my daughter’s birthday party hosted by her mom
I experienced joy seeing Elliott light up at her birthday party. I experienced some grief. And ultimately, the visit itself served as a strong reminder that getting divorced from my ex was/is the best thing for me.
My ex had invited me to attend my daughter’s birthday that was going to be hosted by her and her family, the party taking place at her mom’s house. I had mentioned a numerous amount of times to my ex that I feel uncomfortable being in the same space as her, especially since (almost a year later since our initial official separation) we’re in the midst of a rather contentious divorce. Moreover, when the two of us are confined in a small space together, old behaviors and patterns and interpersonal interactions flare up, part of the reasons that drove us apart. I can only speak from my perspective that I want little to not interactions between my daughter’s mother however there are rare instances where I’m willing to be co-located in the same space, for my daughter.
I didn’t want to mask while I was attending at the party and at the same time, I had emotionally and prepared myself (to the best of my ability) for stepping into a situation where my ex is present with her new partner along with all my ex’s family members (e.g. brothers, parents, grand parents).
What I didn’t expect from the experience was bursting out into tears when her younger brother, Alex, asked me “How have you found the move to London?” I answered honestly and said, “It’s been so hard leaving friends and family behind. While I do love it here, I’m doing this predominately for Elliott.” Then I just started tearing up. It was a mix of how much I love my daughter so much and a moment of brief grief and sadness for the friends and family I left behind.
I really appreciate Mateus attending my daughter’s birthday party with me. After the party, I was still feeling emotional and his presence and validation that the energy in that space was “off” was validating.
I also recognized during the birthday party that after being with my ex for 6 years, I’ve formed and developed relationships with other people attending the birthday party, including her brothers, their brothers partners. Despite wanting to distance myself as much as possible from my ex, I became aware that I miss the relationships that I had formed with those others. I don’t maintain contact with them for various reasons. Chief among those reasons is that during the early stages of the divorce process, my ex would bring up my Instagram stories during our mediation despite me blocking her on social media. I figured she was getting her information from our mutual friends and family however I recognize while that is possible, the more likely scenario is that she was (or is) periodically checking my public Instagram (and YouTube) page.
Rest and Recovery (sort of) and visiting tourist attractions
I’ve lived in London now for 5 months and somewhat embarassingly admit that I have yet to tour any of the major tourist attractions. Seeing those landmarks are definitely beautiful and at the same time, I’ve never been drawn towards seeing those landmarks. Regardless, I did enjoy briefly visiting them with Mateus, the two of us seeing:
Buckingham palace
The London Eye
Big Ben
I threw in the towel at around 6pm and headed back to the flat before Mateus, allowing him to do more tourist things while I get some down time. When I had gotten home, I walked the dogs and then heated up a pizza and then baked us some vegan cookies (many folks who try out my cookies tell me that it’s some of the best cookies they ever eaten and that they don’t taste vegan: score).
The importance of psychologically safe dance spaces.
Note: Although this blog post centers on psychologically safe spaces for dance studios, I think that that this concept more generally applies to other environments including the corporate world as well.
This post is more of a stream of consciousness so bare with me here.
I started my dance journey in February 2023 (a little over a year ago at the time of this writing) and (long story short) discovered “The Beacon”, a dance studio located in Seattle Washington (USA). It’s my second home.
Really.
I fell in love not only with the studio, but with the people, the community. If the closest thing I have to attending church. I feel honored and considered some of the instructors and leaders in the space as friends, who ultimately cultivate what I consider a psychological safe space. A place to be witnessed. To be seen. A place to “be yourself” with no judgement.
A psychologically safe dance space is not something I take for granted anymore. I can confidently say that, since moving to London in April 2024 and visiting half a dozen studios.
I’m writing about this topic because more times than I can count, someone has told me that I was “brave” for jumping into the cypher, despite there being arguably more experienced and more skilled dancers surrounding the circle. While I do feel flattered, and feel proud for the progress I’ve made, I feel comfortable jumping because of my experiences The Beacon (mentioned above).
In that studio, a “safe” space is cultivated. It is intentional. It does not happen by chance. In fact, here’s a little interview I conducted with Seattle Legend Tracey Wong (below) and how she deliberately creates the environment:
Like many others walking this earth, I am currently in a state of transition. The divorce (which started last November) is almost coming to an end (won’t be diving into it here since the topic itself deserves its own post) and I’m finding myself constantly asking the following two questions:
What do you want to do?
What do you NOT want to do?
As Kit Laughlin shared in his podcast interview, the latter question is just as effective. By practicing asking yourself daily, I believe that I’m inching myself towards (for lack of a better word) actualization.
At the moment, here’s what I don’t want to do:
Go back and work full time in technology – whether the role is a leadership role (VP of Engineering) or senior software engineer, I’d like to (if possible) work part-time, anywhere between 15-20 hours per week. With the remainder of time, I’d like to work on my own projects
Yesterday
Elliott after school pick up
“Dad, this is a great place to do a pistol squat” – this brought me so much joy because sometimes, when I’m out and about with her, I’ll practice a pistol squat and cannot believe that this stuck with her
She asked me to tell her (almost every day) more spooky stories
Proud of her when she used the word “bittersweet” – When I touched her hands, I noticed her skin was softer (she had what we thought was a genetic skin condition) and she told me that the medicine she’s taking makes her feel bittersweet and I was so proud of her usage of language (as a almost 5 year old) and asked her where she heard that word and she said, “You taught me Daddy”. I felt proud for both myself and her.
I fell asleep while watching Netflix with her – While watching Netflix Super Kitties TV show that I projected onto the ceiling, I fell asleep while laying next to her and woke up about 45 minutes later, just in time for her mom to pick her up
Continuing practiced teaching Elliott how to ride her (her words: adult) bicycle with two wheels. I’m treading the line between encouragement and pressuring since I do not want her feel like she “has to” learn how to ride a bicycle since I consider the activity right now a source of joy
Dance practice
Drilled the last 8 count steps from Ani’s class – heel toe, pivot heel toe, toe tap
Practiced Pas De Bourrée variations that I came up with, looping the certain parts of the movement, achieving a sort of flow state. I’m starting to feel more comfortable with leaning into my own creativity
Today
Mavinga responded to my inquiry regarding 1:1 private dance lessons and she stepped through my Google Document that outlines my dance goals
She said (in a kind way I feel) that she’ll train me military style, the same way she trains with her Belgian friends. I’m all in and excited at the opportunity. We are working out logistics right now
When she vocalized (in her own words) my goals, she said so you want to dance at a professional level. At first I felt a bit embarrassed, took a deep breathe in and, actually, yes, I do want to dance at a highest level: for me I’m not forcing or pushing myself. I am building a relationship with dance and curious as to if I can actualize the visions I have of me dancing
Stretched for about 30 minutes
Worked my lats
Yamuna ball for my chest and shoulders
Plans
Take a scheduled call with a tax attorney
Take a scheduled call with some executives from White Space, a company that I’m considering consulting for on a part time basis as a VP of engineering
Delete AWS Resources for my Crossbill account since I’ve seen bills come in at hundreds of dollars, resources that I’m not using. So just tearing down various resources that have been neglected
Attend Dance Class with Jevan at Base Dance studios at 5:30pm
Pick up groceries in Wimbledon (from M&S) since I have Elliott this weekend and she loves (just like me) bolongese with pasta
I took a private house dance lesson with Ani and below is a 30 second clip condensed version of our 1 hour private. I had originally reached out to her and asked for a private lesson after struggling in her House Beginner/Intermediate class. In particular, I fumbled with the pas de bourree torso isolation as well as some other grooves that she helped break down. The lesson itself took place at Central Saint Martins (CSM) in London. This was my first lesson that took place outdoors, in public. At first, I felt a bit shy and nervous, since tourists and people in general would walk past by us. But after the first couple minutes, the anxiety wore off and the rest of the private lesson was amazing.
