Category: Family

It’s 4:57 am right now.

Already, I hear a few birds chirping from outside, despite no sun in sight, outside still pitch black.

I am typing this blog post while sitting in my dimly lit kitchen. In the bedroom, my daughter is still fast asleep and hope she continues to sleep for another hour (i.e. until 6:00am) or better yet, another 2 hours.

Though I had a number of different dreams throughout last night — partaking in a college brawl, witnessing a school burn down due to a fire, baby elephants wearing shower caps and blowing bubbles — the one that shook me awake was my daughter moving to Costa Rica with her mom. At the tail end of the dream, I was moving to Colorado with my new wife (a friend of mine from junior high — so random – someone who I haven’t thought of for multiple decades) and I asked her as we were driving and moving from Seattle (she was also talking about Google Calendar, again so random). Within my dream, I said to her:

“How and Elliott I see each other? What — she’s going to fly back and forth on Sundays on the weekend.” Even in a dream state, I felt that Elliott flying between the two of us was too harsh on her little body. In my dream, I started crying at the idea of being apart from Elliott.

Then I woke up.

And here I am.

Emotional. Sad. Fascinating how I can feel these emotions so strong so early in the morning, all from a dream: all from a nightmare.

I love that little girl and I’m so glad I am here, in London, raising her.

I don’t know what prompted this sort of nightmare but it was a reminder that I am in the right place, right country, doing the right thing: for her, for me.

If you are looking for a quick, delicious, healthy (no oil), plant based meal that takes only 30 minutes (15 of those minutes are waiting for the dish to cook in an instant pot) to whip up, look no further. Check out Jill McKeever’s video on “The Red Lentil Stew From Instant Pot”:

I’ve taken her recipe and slightly modified it, changing the proportions of the ingredients. More specifically, I kick up the number of potatoes. In the video, you’ll see she tosses only in 1 potatoes or so; I like my dish a little more starchy and tend to chop up and throw in in twice the amount (about 4 or 5 potatoes). And occasionally, I’ll mix it up with a zucchini (or as my British wife calls it: “Courgettes”).

So the modified recipe is as follows:

• 4 carrots
• 4 potatoes
• 1 teaspoon of paprika
• 1 tablespoon of coriander
• 1 medium-sized yellow onion
• 2 garlic
• 6 cups of vegetable stock
• 1 cup of lentils (I don’t wash them but she does)
• 3 ounces of tomato paste

Definitely try this out. It’s so easy and so delicious! Bon Appetit!

For next semester, Spring 2020, I enrolled in what I expect to be one of the most difficult (yet rewarding) courses: compilers – theory and practice. I’m stoked and at the same time, feeling very nervous.

I’m stoked for several reasons. First, according to the previous semester’s syllabus, I’ll be learning a ton of theory: Automata, finite state machines, grammars, predictive parsers. Many of these concepts I’ve learned on my own with my self directed education.

The second reason that I’m elated is that I’ll be given the opportunity of building an entire compiler, from the ground up! No existing code base, all from scratch. That in itself strikes fear in me.

And third, Steve Yegge’s executive summary (on his post on compilers) — “If you don’t know how compilers work, then you don’t know how computers work” — motivates me, making me want to prove (to myself) that I know how computers work.

So with all that good stuff, why am I feeling nervous?

Normally, taking a master’s course while working is manageable. I often carve out about an hour (or sometimes 90 minutes) of my early morning, studying while eating an avocado toast and sipping a ginger tea, headphones wrapped around my head while people are buzzing in the background at a near by café. In addition to the early mornings, I will leverage my one hour lunches, again watching lectures or banging out code for a (school) project.

But my life has changed.

Although my previous routines and rituals worked well for me for the last several years, my life has changed in significant ways. Most obvious is the arrival of my (first) child, Elliott. With Elliott now here (and no longer just an abstract creature curled up in my wife’s belly), I want to make sure that I’m present for her: not just for the big moments (like her first vaccinations) but for the little, day to day moments (in fact, I had one of the weirdest feelings when I stepped into the office this past Monday, my first day back in the office after 4 weeks off of paternity. while staring into the wide screen monitor pinned up against the wall of my not too shabby cubicle, I wanted to be at home, changing Elliott’s dirty diaper).

On top of all of this, omscentral reviews (the unofficial review website for courses offered by online master’s program at Georgia Tech) suggest that the course demands anywhere between 15-25 hours per week. Those extra 10 hours gotta come from somewhere. But from where? Sacrifice it from hanging out with my life? Or strumming my guitar? Or singing? Or writing music? Or exercising at the gym? Or playing with my dogs? Or spending time with other friends and family?

You see, there’s only so much time (you already knew that) and all the decisions (small and large) are trade offs. These choice reflect our ethos. The sum of where and how we spend our time essentially defines who we are and what we believe in.

Okay. Rant over.

Back to studying (information security and computer networks) on my day off of work — thank you Amazon for offering a ramp back period, allowing me to work 50% (of course my salary is pro rated) and allowing me to pitch in with my family on Thursdays and Fridays.

At work, I’m subscribed to an e-mail distribution group called “dogs@amazon.com”, a list dedicated to anyone interested in dogs. And today, I read an e-mail that broke my heart. A fellow Amazonian just had their second child and they are now giving away their 3 year old Labrador because they can no longer give it the attention that it deserves.

I cannot stomach the idea of letting go of either of my dogs — Metric and Mushroom. To me, they are permanent members of my family, my pack.  Metric joined my world 6 years ago, when I picked her up from a backyard breeder in Austin Texas; Mushroom joined us about 4.5 years ago, when Mushroom was pretty much spending most of her days in a crate at my mom’s house.

Anyways, I’m looking forward to having them around for a long long time. In fact, I cannot wait for them to welcome another member to my pack in September, when my wife and I are expecting our first child.

 

My wife’s parents told us that when they first moved in together, they noticed that when they argued with one another, the arguments normally took place on Friday evenings.  And when they became aware of this pattern, the two of them agreed to shelve any important discussions for the next day. And surprisingly, this worked for them. What’s even more interesting is that my wife and I encountered a similar situation: we too would argue on Friday evenings, which made no sense to me.  But I think I may know why.

I’m reading a book that I picked up at my library yesterday, a book titled When (by Daniel H Pink).  Although I’ve only read through the a dozen or so pages, the author explains how researchers identified that people (all over the world, different races and different genders and different religions) felt the happiest during the morning, the happiness peaking at noon and then plummeting to it’s lowest point in the evening: around 5pm. And although I’ve only read through the first few pages, this new piece of information alone leads me to believe that this steep decline in positive energy correlates to arguments that pop up what should be the happiest time of day: Friday evenings.

Anyways, I’m going to continue reading the book (it is quite gripping) and report back. And if I’m right about the Friday evening situation, then I’ll create a habit to defer any important discussions to Saturday morning. Let’s see.

Although Jess and I legally married six months ago (February) in King County Court, a municipal court in Seattle, we threw our wedding ceremony just three weeks ago.  The Saturday ceremony was held in Malibu at Great Spirits Ranch, a ranch that overlooks the Pacific Ocean and Ojai mountains.  Most importantly, this venue was dog friendly, allowing our two dogs—Metric and Mushroom—to roam free throughout the entire day.  It was at this spiritual ground where 120 of our closet friends and family from all over the world—New Zealand, Texas, London—gathered around to celebrate our special day.  Below are a sneak peek of some photos, while I draft up another post on lessons learned from being married.

 

My wife (Jess) and I were both dead tired from yesterday—friends had come over to our house and cooked a Vietnamese meal the night before and we fell asleep around just before midnight, a little over two hours past our bedtime—and we had decided to spend the Friday night staying in doors, eating leftover, vegan soup and streaming a movie.

Whenever we plop ourselves down in front of the TV, a “smart” LED television, we spend what feels like an eternity searching for the perfect movie that matches our mood, loading Netflix and scrolling up and down through the vast collection of their originals, switching to Amazon Prime, watching trailer after trailer after trailer.

Eventually, we settled on Hidden Figures.

Hidden figures centers on three black women, all working for the prestigious NASA during the civil rights movement, in the 1960s.  The movie’s protagonist is named Katherine, a math prodigy who was widowed and left with raising three children while juggling a full time job as a “computer”.  Because of her mathematical genius, Katherine is pulled into Freedom 7, a project aiming to send an American astronaut into orbit, a response to Russia’s recent victory of sending the first man into space.

But I’m not here to discuss the movie.

I’m here to reflect on my feelings that immediately followed watching the film.  If I had to put a label on my emotions, I would say that I felt inspired, followed by disappointment.

I was inspired by how three women accomplished such great feats: one woman petitioning to take night classes at a local, segregated high school and becoming the first African American engineer at NASA; another woman who saw her role as a computer becoming obsolete and ended up teaching herself Fortran, eventually leading the IBM team; another crunching numbers for the rocket’s landing coordinates.  How can you not be inspired?

Until I started reflecting on my own, ordinary life.  A number of questions popped into my head: What have I done with my life so far?  What have I accomplished? How am I sitting here on the warm, leather couch after a “long” day of work, when these three, underprivileged, hardworking women were out hustling.

But then I return to my blessings.  I’m lucky. I have a beautiful, loving, nurturing wife who I adore.  I have two, tail wagging dogs that snuggle with us in bed, keeping us warm on those unexpecting, cold nights.

I’m an early bird.  I find that I’m the most productive with a little extra time in the morning, which I devote to personal development — meditating, reading, and writing. I wake, usually, to the sound of the alarm; today, though, I woke up naturally. Or so I thought.

I glanced at my watch. 05:30AM.  I gave an approving kudos to my body for blessing me with an extra 30 minutes to kick start the day.  But it was not until I reviewed arlo that I uncovered Maxella, my sister’s German Shepherd, struggling to sneak into my bed — her lack of finesse and lion sized paws sent a small wave of vibrations through the bed, enough to wake me up.