It’s just a phase

May 22, 2016 | minutes read

Look through my history, and you’ll find how infrequently I post on Facebook, however, I strongly encourage you to watch this short video clip, especially if you are approaching 30, like me, and plan on having children.

This video poignantly touches on the issues, revolving around teenage homosexuality and bullying, that our younger generation is battling. I tend to forget, and trivialize, how difficult the teenager years were. I forget how insecure I was. I forget, partially, because the problems I now face have changed, naturally, overtime, but having younger brothers and sisters in this age range serve as an important reminder of the role we play, as adults, to the younger, impressionable, generation.

I fought back tears watching this video and as a byproduct, I’m now questioning not only my beliefs, but the words I unconsciously elect to say day to day. For example, when referring to someone’s thoughts or actions during their teenage years: “It’s just a phase.” This seemingly innoculous selection of words bear no harm, right? But, what if the very thing they’re going through, whatever it may be, is actually NOT a phase?

Feelings of shame.

Through my own struggles, I’ve felt shameful I’ve learned the subtle difference between guilt, which is feeling bad about the things you do, and shame, which is feeling bad about who you are. Shame, if left unaddressed, can lead down a dark, confusing, path.

“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” – Jiddu Krishnamurti

I’m Matt Chung. I’m a software engineer, seasoned technology leader, and father currently based in Seattle and London. I love to share what I know. I write about topic developing scalable & fail-safe software running in the AWS cloud, digital organization as a mechanism for unlocking your creativity, and maximizing our full potentials with personal development habits.

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