Matt Chung's Site

Author: mattchung

  • Nose piercing bump – How I’m getting rid of it (in progress)

    I started developing a little red bump on my nose after I swapped out the stud for a hoop. On the day of the piercing swap, the piercer said, “If you end up developing a little bump — which is normal and can happen — then use bio oil.” Immediately after he swapped out the piercing, there was no bump. A little red, a little blood, a little irritated: but no bump. However, I wanted to take care of future me and was a bit anxious that a bump would develop — surprise surprise, a bump formed a couple days later — so I had proactively picked up some bio oil from local boots store in London.

    Rule #1: DO NOT F*CK with the piercing

    Although I resisted any and all urges to fiddle with the nose ring, I made the fatal mistake of using a cotton swab about 2-3 days into it. Around that time, the bump had formed a little blister and there was some residue, some dead skin, lingering on the bump. As gently as possible, I gently rubbed the dead skin off. Unfortunately, the next day, the red bump grew angry, increasing in size that was much more visible and much more embarrassing. Now, it is possible that the bump size would’ve progressed on its own but moving forwards, I had stopped using a cotton swab. Once was enough.

    My Cleaning Protocol

    1. In the morning, shower and allow hot rinse over entire face
    2. In the morning after shower, Spray saline solution directly on nose and hold cotton pad for about 5 deep breathes
    3. In the morning after saline solution, put (2) drops of bio oil on nose and hold cotton pad for about 5 deep breathes

    And just before bed, I repeated steps 2-3 in the evening again.

    Healing Journey

    Below are a couple photos I snapped over the couple weeks. At the time of this writing, 19 days have elapsed since I swapped out the nose stud for the hoop. Oh, for some context, I had the nose stud in for 3 months and 3 weeks before switching it out.

    I’ll post another update on here in about 1-2 weeks once (hopefully) the healing process has completed.

  • A cup of tea, a splash of milk, a flood of love

    A cup of tea, a splash of milk, a flood of love

    I’m feeling lots of love right now, all from flicking through my diary and unexpectedly stumbling on some stick figure drawings that my 5 year old daughter drew, along with some sentence fragments she wrote.

    For a moment, the love was overwhelming and I was on the verge of crying.

    I just fucking love my baby so much.

    Here at Tea House Theater, I’m sipping my cup of tea and currently locked, focusing on tidying up my notes since frustration was building up combined with feelings of overwhelm from some creative projects I haven’t yet realized. Often, accompanying these emotions are what feels like a dizzy amount of thoughts racing around in my head; being in this state typically brings on feelings of paralysis. Recognizing the state I am in, I reach into my backpack and pull out my journal so that I can empty out my thoughts using what the “Anchor Technique”.

    Anyways, I was flipping through pages one by one in my journal, trying to find today’s diary entry, when I stumbled on some of Elliott’s drawings. They quickly brought me to the present moment — not worrying about the past, not anxious about the future — and served as a reminder of WHY I am in London, a reminder of ONE of the (primary) reasons I breathe: to be here, for her.

    Daddy loves you Elliott.

  • House Dance Training Log – January 04, 2025

    House Dance Training Log – January 04, 2025

    First training of 2025. In a separate post, I’ll go over one of my 2025 goals but in short: participate in the prelims of summer dance forever 2026! That is, 1.5 years from now, I’d like to stand up on that beautiful stage and be prepared both mentally, physically, and emotionally.

    Summary

    • Light warm up – 90 seconds of “jump roping”, 15 seconds single leg hops on each
    • 2 rounds of 6 exercises, each exercise 30 seconds, with 10 second rest in between
    • Rhytmic pattern training (30 seconds per round) of 6 exercises, 2 rounds (one pas de bourree and one cross step)
    • After training for dance, stretched hamstrings, hip flexors, and quadriceps (and some calve raises and eccentric heel drops)

    Motivational quote on practice

    Stumbled on this quote that a fellow HN (hacker news) user commented:

    As to progress — we don’t know how much progress we made, actually, but if you practice it you will realize — some day you will realize that our progress is not — it is not possible to make rapid, extraordinary progress. Even though you try very hard, you cannot actually make progress. The progress you make is always little by little. It is like — to go through fog. You don’t know when you get wet, but if you just walk through fog you will be wet, little by little, even though you don’t know — it is not like a shower.

    When you go out when it is showering you will feel, ‘Oh, that’s terrible!”. It is not so bad but when you get wet by fog it is very difficult to dry yourself. This is how we make progress. So actually there is not need to worry about your progress. Just to do it is the way. It is, maybe, like to study language. Just repeating, you will master it. You cannot do it all of a sudden. This is how we practice, especially Soto way, is to do it little by little. To make progress little by little. Or we do not even mind, we do not expect to make progress, just to do it is our way. The point is to do it with sincerity in each moment. That is the point. There should not be Nirvana besides our practice.

    Video Log

    Reflection

    • First time dancing after taking 2 weeks off to allow rest and recovery from plantar fasciitis (not fully healed)
    • (Right) foot felt no pain in heel throughout exercise but afterwards, felt a bit sore so I walked on my indoor garden gravel and then stretched afterwards
    • Felt a bit anxious during physical warm up, hesitating as to avoid reinjuring myself
    • Proud that I did not go 150% percent (my default mode) and limited the entire practice to just under 35 minutes
    • Avoided using ankle weights since that additional load likely contributes to the plantar fasciitis and in fact, during the exercise where I jumped side to side, I felt instability in the ankle and knee

    What went well

    • Was able to recall the rhytmic exercise that Mavinga provided
    • Mostly on beat
    • Just showing up and putting in the quiet work

    Areas of improvement

    Below section will serve as input for next training (TBD)

    • Practice “around the world” move – when the prompt from random generator (software I wrote to help train transitions) spat out “around the world”, I ended up performing the setup move. In a nutshell, forgot how to execute the move
    • Relax arms during dodger (and more generally) – was only bending right arm. After checking some videos online to compare, I like the aesthetic of bringing both arms up into 90 degrees (relaxing the wrists) during the first step, then lowering both arms in sync during the last step of the move
    • Hold the 3rd rhythm a bit longer during cross step rhythmic practice – doing so distinguishes one rhythmic pattern to the next. Being compassionate with self; in the past, I would’ve berated myself for having to “relearn” this since I had cleaned it up previously. But that’s neither here nor there. Next session
    • More tension / energy all around – make the moves look more crisp and clear. For example, during the “Bart Simpson”, contract the hamstring and glutes for more aesthetically pleasing movement
    • Increase knee bend with Drunk Walk
    • Drunk walk backwards
    • Freestyle – I was gased and wanted to not push too hard so didn’t freestyle. Something I may be able to do in between next training session

  • On recovering from plantar fasciitis

    Similar to software debugging, sometimes the best thing you can do is create distance between yourself and the problem you’re troubleshooting. Because more often than not, when we’re in the thick of it, sometimes we can become fixated — fine, a bit obsessed — and prevent ourselves from gaining additional insights, our wheels spinning in place, us unable to make forward progress.

    In those moments, I remind myself to take a break and quite literally step away from the computer.

    As for my right foot pain, I recently being throwing different things at the wall, trying out a variety of exercises and stretches, desperately hoping the pain will disappear soon. However, while reading a ballet blog on resolving plantar fasciitis, it suddenly dawned on me that my pain coincides (6 weeks ago) with the following changes:

    • Wearing 1.6 kg (3.5 lbs) ankle weights on each foot while training
    • Increasing frequency of training – previously only taking (2) two 1.5 hour dance classes a week and then on top of that, had added about (3) 1.5 hour training sessions on adjacent days
    • Introduced new exercises that likely my body was unprepared for – jump roping on one foot, hopping from one leg to another leg (again, while wearing ankle weights)

    It was either in the referenced article or another video that talked about how just a little bit of weight gain can increase odds of plantar fasciitis. While the article was implying body weight gain, I had increased my weight through the use of ankle weights. While wearing them, I often feel my ankles are a bit wobbly, a bit unstable, especially while performing certain movements. So probably poor biomechanics and other foot muscles compensating.

    In short, too much volume, poor technique due to increase (ankle) weight(s), and not enough rest.

    Next Steps?

    • Rest (I find this the hardest of all)
    • Barefoot walking on gravel and pebbles
    • Increasing foot strength by doing calve raises and standing on toes
    • Increasing foot strength by doing eccentric heel drops

    Ultimately, I want to be able to increase my dance training volume since I am seeing huge gains but without an uptick in injuries.

  • Dance Practice Log – December 09, 2024

    When: Monday, December 09, 2024 6:30pm until 8:00pm
    Where: Morden home living room

    Summary

    Yesterday I trained for about 1.5 hours. Up until last couple training sessions, I felt so much resistance, so much procrastination. And every time I get myself to to practice — not force — I feel emotionally better, lifted with higher spirits, and I can see the work paying off. I feel it. I see it.

    What did I do

    • Conditioning
      • Jump roping (3 minutes)
      • 2 rounds of single leg squats, lunge jumps (my enemy), squats, holding dance positions
    • 1 round of 9 exercises with ankle weights
      • Compass on time
      • Compass double time
      • Compass with a swing
      • Jump from side to side
      • Rapid fire forward and backwards
      • Side to side arm stretches (used to make me nauseous but not anymore)
    • 6 rounds of pas de bourrée rhythm training with ankle weights
      • On time, double time, “standard”, 1/16th
    • 6 rounds of cross step rhythm training without ankle weights
      • On time, double time, “standard”, 1/16th
    • Musicality exercise – Used Garage band (no. 16)
    • Freestyle round – started cramping so I stopped after about 3 minute round

    What was the main focus?

    • Musicality and transitions
    • Updated dance training program – added moves such as roger rabbit, jack in the box, side walk, drunk walk, compass, swirl, heel toe, dodger
    • Drilling rhythmic pattern (Mavinga)
    • Main intention continues to be holding the position just a fraction of a second longer, particularly on rhythm 3 before transitioning to 1/16th notes

    Wins

    • Throughout freestyle round, I incorporated (recency bias) the kick, bend, into roger rabbit transition (from Miriam)
    • Setup with the repetition – this is something that I came up for myself; well, I arrived at this move on my own and do not doubt that others in the world have come up with the same move
    • Threw in the shuffle transition I picked up from Miriam from class last Saturday – kick out right, step left leg back behind right, finish the shuffle kick out. I find this transition really beautiful and I’m adding my own flavor, my own sauce to it

    Areas of Improvements

    • Right arm stiff during swirl (and more generally, in all movements)
    • Adding textures
    • Incorporating pauses and quarter time with intention
    • I’m thinking of doing something like Bas Ruten, creating .mp3 files of me just telling myself the exercises with music baked into it

    Full training and practice video

  • Wow, you have good memory

    To me, I like to think I’m somewhat self-aware (who doesn’t think that about themselves but according to one study, only 10-15% are actually self-aware). But from my own perspective, it does not seem abnormal — to me — to remember little details of conversations. That being said, about at least 3 times in the past week, people have commented on my ability to remember certain conversations.

    But what motivates me to remember? It it acceptance, the desire for social approval? What is it, exactly?

    Honestly, I don’t think my ability to remember conversations is innate and rather a skill that I have developed over the years. I recall in my early 20s, reading Dale Carnegie’s “How to win friends and influence people” and though the details are now fuzzy, I recall that book having a profound impact on me and the way I interact with others, a mindful approach to developing relationships. Dale Carnegie emphasized the importance of listening with one’s full attention. As such, when I am engaged in a conversation with others, I really make an effort: I make eye contact, I validate (when appropriate), and ask questions (driven from my high need for curiosity).

    Last night, I was at a dance event in Shoreditch and was having a 1:1 conversation with Francesa; I had asked her about her upcoming trip to New York to celebrate her 30th birthday. She was a bit surprised and said something along the lines of, “wow — you have good memory”. Now, as mentioned earlier, I get that type of comment pretty often. In this specific instance, here’s why I think I remember her sharing that with me:

    1. the first time I had met her and
    2. as a house dancer, New York is considered the mecca of the dance style and
    3. Turning 30 is a big milestone that’s worthy of celebrating

  • Dance practice log – reflection

    Starting a couple weeks ago, I changed the way I approach dance training, particular when training by myself.

    • Sometimes I used the mirror, sometimes I do not – I have mentioned this to some others that the mirror can become a crutch, could end up maladaptive, where we are overly relying on the mirror, which of course is not always available
    • I perform a “warm up” before
    • I’m able to train longer before – my physical endurance has improved. I’m not talking about cardiovascular. I’m talking about my muscles (particularly leg muscles) sustaining longer amount of time dancing. There have been sessions where I wanted to train more but was hitting limits on my physical ability
    • I find it sometimes lack the motivation to start the training – but as soon as begin, I’m locked in … in the zone.
    • I enjoy watching back the footage, often surprised that my creativity lead to something that I consider beautiful
    • I’ve been reviewing my footage with the hopes of using it as input for future dance sessions – whenever I see something (e.g. right arm stiff) that I want to work on, I’d like to write it down and feed the feedback to future dance trainings
    • My body is getting stronger and I’m able to train longer and longer
    • Leg muscles hate the exercise of quickly

    December 04, 2024

    What did I work on?

    What are my areas of growth?

    • Staying on time when performing loose leg with toe tap – Loose leg to toe tap and then was initially struggling to catch the next beginning four count

    December 06, 2024

    What did I work on?

    • Some moves from Jevan’s choreography from this past Thursday

    I started uploading my entire dance trainings onto YouTube (as unlisted, since they are primary for my own eyes).

    Although I keep a dance journal (using Obsidian), it’s not well maintained. I’d like to keep an online dance journal primarily for myself, and secondarily for anyone who finds the act of practicing as enjoyable as performing.

    What are some things that creativity sparked something beautiful?

    • 3 counts of 1/16th cross step with an 8 count pause to the other side
    • Transition from dodger into swirl – totally unexpected and felt awkward but when looking back at the footage, looks quite aesthetic
    • Dodger on one side repeatedly
    • Musicality with pas de bourree with a hop – still struggled with initially translating what I heard into what I was moving
    • For the setup, I cut some piece of it and repeated it, jumping two half circles

    Where are my areas of growth?

    • Right arm a bit stiff when dancing
    • Stiffness in arms asymmetrical when dancing
    • Continue practice holding the count longer, especially for pas de bourree and cross step, the standard groove I tend to rush past
    • When performing head isolation left and right, chin is sometimes too far out, pull back towards center (which looks like the appropriate resting position though it feels like I’m pulling back too far despite the positioning looking more aesthetic and correct)
    • My shoulders are quite stiff, hunched forward
  • Weekly Review – November 25th to December 02

    Weekly Review – November 25th to December 02

    Normally, I conduct my weekly reviews on Sunday, on a weekend where I am less pressed for time, a period of time that I can sit down and reflect. However, I had Elliott this past weekend — at the moment, alternating weekends — and by the end of Sunday evening, at 5:00pm, when her mother picks her up, I’m drained with energy. Long story short: better now than never.

    I remember experiencing joy this past Tuesday, sitting in an office located in central London, my client’s office where I’m currently working as a consultant for the next 3 months. Though my social contact needs are low, I enjoyed not only the technical banter, but discussions on stretching and calisthenics.

    From Friday afternoon to Sunday evening, I had Elliott (video clip below). When I’m with my daughter, there are so many tiny moments where I feel both love and joy. In the little moments, like when I am washing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen and she’s sitting in the same area, the two of us talking while she’s coloring in. And I also experience so many micro proud moments, proud of both her and proud of myself. For instance, I taught her how to use the laptop and how to press down “command + P” followed by the “RETURN” key, enabling her to print out her own connect the dot worksheets.

    Another moment I really enjoyed was having lunch with her in Chinatown. Drawing inspiration from another parent, I bought a memory game from Amazon and carry it along with me in my backpack, busting it out when her and I have a moment to ourselves. What was so sweet was that when we got to the restaurant, because we go there about every weekend when I have her, the employees already know our order (i.e. chicken chow mein, dim sum platter, pork bao). What’s more is that another employee stopped by our table and played the memory game with us, despite Elliott being unsure with what they were doing since the older woman spoke with broken English.

    On Sunday evening, after Elliott left, I danced and trained (video clip below). One primary intention that I had set prior to performing the dance specific exercises was holding certain positions longer. There’s this tendency I have to move to the next beat before the current beat fully finishes, and as such, people have told me (numerous of times, number of people) that I am “rushing”. They’re not wrong. So during this instance of the exercise, particularly on the “third” rhythm, I held the final foot positioning for a fraction of second longer and looking back at the footage, just that extra moment in time makes the movement and transition much more clear.

  • Reflection on attending a parenting workshop on boundaries

    I signed up for a parenting workshop hosted by my daughter’s (Steiner based) school, a workshop on setting and applying boundaries. Though I have an aversion to authority in general — I value and have a high need for independence — I showed up in the space with an open mind and open heart and learned that there’s a subtle difference between authoritarian and (“positive”) / authoritarian parenting. According to the workshop, we want to move away from the former (authoritarian) and towards the latter (“positive” / authoritarian).

    Here’s what I learned

    • A four quadrant analysis with firm and nurturing
      • Permissive Parenting (high nurture, low firm)
      • Neglectful/Uninvolved (low nurture, low firm)
      • Authoritarian Parenting (high firm, high nurture)
      • Positive/Authoritative Parenting (high nurture, high firm)
    • Learned that I have a tendency to sometimes fall into the Permissive quadrant, my default state

    What I enjoyed

    • Breakout groups – listening to some other parents friends and being self aware of their own shortcomings (we all have them)

    Some criticisms

    • Elements of the workshop felt a bit dogmatic
    • Several assumptions and implicit values and beliefs
    • Viewed through a “western” lens and failed to consider cultural context
    • Instances of binary thinking – lacks nuance. Giving kids options “You get to choose X or choose Y” to me lacks imagination
    • I had asked the moderator what their definition of “a boundary” was and she continued to defer to the “books” – I asked this question not to be contentious but I had observed that some of the examples in the pamphlet were not necessarily boundaries (according to my definition of a boundary, the definition I learned from Dr. Becky Kennedy) and were merely requests. For instance, “Call me at 12:00 or setup a time with your dad to pick you up.” Where in here is the boundary? If a child neither calls at midnight nor communicates with their father, what is the consequence of their (in)action?

    Finally, though it was uncomfortable being in the same space as my ex (I had invited her to the workshop in spirit of centering our daughter Elliott), ultimately think both her and I could learn more for Elliott. And overall, though I picked up a few good tools that I’ll practice (lots of overlap with DBT, especially resemblance with “cope ahead” tools), overall I felt the workshop was a bit dogmatic.

  • Musicality Exercise – Dancing on the high hat

    Below is a YouTube tutorial I made for some house dance friends, showing them an exercise on how to not only dance on the high hat, but to transition between the kick, the high hat, and back to the kick.

    I learned the core exercise from Walid, who taught a group of us the exercise during a workshop that took place in London. Though heavily inspired by his teaching, I made some changes that I think provides more clarity:

    • Counting on the high hat – in the third set of pas de bourée, we’re dancing on the high hat. The way Walid taught us to count was “and one and, and two and, and three and” which is totally valid however, I’m counting it as follows “and one and, and three and, and five and, and seven and”, giving us (or me) a clear understanding of where I am at relative to the eight count
    • Annotating with a piece of paper – during the workshop, there were no visualizations. So I added my own annotation (as you can see in the video)
    • Adding my own interpretation of ending on on the 7 beat – Though we can immediately transition to the high hat from any down beat, I believe in the second round, the reason we end on the 7 beat and transition to the high on the “and” of the 8 downbeat is because 1.5 counts of “time” gives us ample time to prepare ourselves physically and mentally to transition

    Exercise Description

    Short version:

    • Dance 8 counts of pas de bouree, starting on the “1” downbeat
    • Skip the “1” of the second 8 count, and dance 6 counts of pas de bouree, starting on the “2” downbeat
    • Start on the “and” of the 8 beat (from the last round of pas de bouree)